Happy Valentine’s Day friends! Today’s post will be a little different from what you would typically see around here. No decor or crafts, no tutorial or recipe, just a little glimpse at the person behind the blog, and a good ol’ fashioned {modern} love story….
But first…a teeny bit about me: I was ‘born’ in 2003. Having just recovered from a painful and unexpected divorce the year prior that rocked my young, and very naive world, I was ready to start over. This was the year of my ‘re-birth’ but also of a death of sorts. A few of my lifelong relationships had died that year (sadly some never to be resurrected), leaving me feeling as if everything that was my life, was no longer, and it happened in one fail swoop. You’d never know it, but I was a sad girl, very lonely, and and very hopeless. I had a rocky childhood, but I was raised in a Christian church, although never fully committed to ‘that’ life. Now of course, things had changed. I was a hot mess, I looked for answers everywhere. I dived into my job, but wasn’t fulfilled. I bought a place of my own, and for a while it was a wonderful distraction. Decorating, and all the DIY stuff that came with that was so much fun (you may know that about me). But that joy only lasted for a moment. I was empty. I needed to know what my purpose was, and what God’s plan for my life was. So I returned to my ‘first love’ (Rev. 2:4) and was born, again. See? This was the year of my birth. I don’t remember anything before that year. Nothing is worth remembering before that year.
“My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord.
“And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. Isaiah 55:8
He had a plan…
In November 2003, I met a boy. Within weeks I was planning to leave my seemingly amazing music industry job in Miami, my family, my friends, my whole ‘life’, and head west, to Beverly. Hills, that is. Or just east of that–to Orange County, to be with my new boyfriend.
He was also raised as a good Christian boy. But in his 20’s had also had a ‘broken’ life; bad relationships, unforeseen circumstances. All things that also led him back to the Lord, right about the same time, on opposite sides of the country. We knew it was love the minute we laid eyes on each other and like Buddy the Elf, we were in love and didn’t care who knew it. He was however, a ‘package deal’; he came with two kids, and a condo. I was young and determined to make it work. And it did. We were married in a whirlwind Vegas-shot gun ceremony eight months later. Dead broke, with 30 of our closest friends and family in tow. We have.never.looked.back. Not for a second!
This time I focused on the marriage, not the wedding. Apparently I wasn’t too worried about the less-than-fabulous flowers and photography the Vegas chapel provided!
{2004-2008}
I had a hard time adjusting to life in the OC. I was new in town, and it showed from miles away–I stood out like a sore thumb. I didn’t get the lingo, the way people dressed out here, the culture, nothing at all. It was very different from Miami; I cried in my pillow many nights. Adjusting to my new life as wife and step-mom was a whole other challenge in itself. We didn’t get to know each other as much as most couples do beforehand, but we had one common goal, to put God first, and make it work! Not everyone’s ideal plan, but we felt God had taken over, and were just trying to let Him handle it all. My step-kids were just 1 1/2 and 7. I spent a lot of time with my 1 yr. old stepson, and we bonded quickly. My stepdaughter was older, and very guarded. It took some patience, and lots of time on my knees for the first few years. (God came through, and we are now close-she’s almost 17!)
With so many life altering changes in a short amount of time, we had held off on having a child for a few years. Having bonded with my step-son, I dreamt of having my own baby someday, and remember praying for God to take care of my son up in heaven, and bring him down to me when He’s ready. I was so sure I was going to have a boy. I’d pray for him to be loving, confident, intelligent, athletic, charming, handsome, and overall I prayed for the Lord to give us wisdom as parents to instill God’s love in his little heart. In 2007, we decided to go for it, and start ‘trying’.
Two weeks later, I was pregnant. With a boy.
Me and my step kiddies at ages 5 and 11.
Chase is loving, confident, intelligent, athletic, charming, handsome, and overall loves God. God came through, again.
{2011}
Hospital visits, surgeries, and a new home.
We had been trying really, REALLY hard to sell our condo and buy a bigger house for seven years. Market fluctuations had really made things difficult for us. Late in 2010 we decided on finally starting to work on our plans to do that in the coming year. In October however, things changed as I came across a small lump on my neck, that after a few days became a very intense pressure on one side, and then the other. Finally, the lump started to grow and so after several Dr.’s visits and hearing it was nothing, I insisted on seeing a specialist. This Dr. didn’t agree with the first, and once the lump had grown to the size of a walnut and was visible when I turned my head, he decided to schedule a biopsy to remove it. I was only 36, and had never ‘gone under’ for a procedure before, in fact I had never had more than stitches sewn up, so truth be told, I was scared to death. I rallied my prayer warriors (you know who you are) and the entire week after the surgery we prayed for a negative result. My Dr. had warned me that it could be Cancer, but I wasn’t accepting that. The results were indeed benign, and although the lump returned again a few months later, it did go away quickly and thank the Lord I’ve been ‘lump free’ since!
We continued with our house hunt, and finally all the stars were aligned. We found our home, closed and moved in August of that year. God came through–yet again. Later that year, my husband, an avid runner, had to go through foot surgery, which meant 8 weeks off of work, just enough time to settle in to our new place. Seems that God’s timing is always right–even when we think otherwise!
{2012+…}
Finally in our new home. Here we are on our deck in late December.
There you have it my friends, a little peek at my life the last decade. We’ve had our highs and our lows, and plenty of uncertainty.
One thing has always remained true though; we have God, and we have each other, so we have it all. Every single failure has been a lesson learned or opened the door to something better, I wouldn’t change a single thing.
Thank you for spending some time with me and the loves in my life.
Enjoy Valentine’s Day with the loves in your lives!
God bless!
XOXO
Select photos are a courtesy of..
Suzan says
What a beautiful story Barbara – and a beautfiul family!
( and the view from your deck is not too shabby either )
Have a heart filled kind of day,
Much love,
Suzan
Barbara @ Chase the Star says
Thank you Suzan! We spend alot of family time out on that deck! Hope you had a blessed Valentine’s Day!
Diana @ Project Inspire says
Wow!! What a story! Thanks so much for sharing this with all of us. :) Love ya!! XOXO
Barbara @ Chase the Star says
Thank you my friend!! It was cathartic writing out our story, so glad I did it! Love ya too!! XO
Crystal says
What a precious story!! God is faithful!! Thanks so much for sharing with us! Happy Valentines Day!!
Barbara @ Chase the Star says
Thank you Crystal! He is so amazing!! I hope you had a blessed Valentine’s Day! XO
Dara says
beautiful post. i love the concrete with your names and hand/paw prints!
Barbara @ Chase the Star says
Thank you Dara!! That’s my fave pic too!